UnderØath

res come clear..
"Don't worry", they tell me; this feeling won't last forever!
Voices beating their drums in my heart.
The water looks so peaceful below, and the struggle lets go...
...CLIMBING OVER THE WALL OF LIFE'S EDGE
LEAVING BEHIND THE SMILES OF YESTERDAY

The light that shined has vanished to a grayscale of night.
Tears once present, now look into the dryness inside.

Silent words enter the sky;
Screamed from this body as a reply.
And these words begin to write:
"Dear Lord, if these break the earth, and enter your courts; save me tonight"

Time is short and the hurt of death grows with every breath.
Here I am at the end,
This wall that blocked you out for so long opens wide
And I begin to burn from the inside.
I'll never forget that night...
...The night Jesus Christ made the blackness white!


2. Giving Up Hurts The Most

Angels mourn; crying, praying for your soul.

As my eyes open from their state of sleep,
I feel my blood turn into a frozen river.
Nightmares told me
Death was in the air.
My heart locked shut, and I gave you the key
Promise never, never to leave!
As lies hold me and this emptiness fills my broken heart.
Screaming your name hoping for a response.
Ssilence.
Summer, drowned by WINTER!
To look in your face AND realized the time we SPENT
The chances I HAD...
...Have drifted away from my fingertips,
Your life, your thoughts, your dreams, your love.
Never tried my hardest and now I pray as the hurt enters.
I LOVE YOU, and I still love you;
Even though I... Even though I never showed it

A piece of me is gone forever.
Clutching memories held so close.
Repeating words of love spoken too late.

(My eyes look all around, but all they can focus on is you, for in you, I find me)

Days pass by and thy death still lingers.
This coldness will never satisfy me.
I want to be surrounded by angels,
In a place where the sun is so warm,
It burns my insides.

Surrounded by angels. Surrounded by angels.
Where love takes my darkest depressions...
And throws it into the deepest sea.
A place I can call home, I'm crying to you, Jesus
Mend me, break me, make me.
You're all I've got now.

(My eyes look all around, but all they can focus on is you, for in you I find me.
Farewell my friend, your time has come.
And never will I be able to tell you "I love you" again....)


3. Walking Away

The day I left you was the worst mistake I ever made. [x4]
THE DAY... I LEFT.. YOU.. WAS THE WORST... MISTAKE.. I EVER MADE..
Was ready to become something, I didn't need you dragging me down
I thought love just wasn't enough
My hair combed, nice shoes tied tight
Was ready to conquer life
Help unwanted, I can do this on my own...
And then I found myself wounded,
Tripping over myself, falling, scraping my knee...
Sadness fills, for I know I've failed
Why did I leave scared to go back?
Hoping you'll take me in with open arms
But also know that the hurt I've caused...
The breeze of angel's wings,
Standing there in a midst of flowers of every being
Tears grow and an orchestra begins to play
What a beautiful day, why are you alone?
Run child, it's time for you to go home...
Wounded spirit face in the dirt
I cry out for you to take me in
Your heart holds me close,
And I look up to face this world which so scares me
Faith in you.. loneliness just seems to fade.
The man once inside, now a child walking in your footsteps..
Hoping to grow up to be just like you Jesus [x2]
Hoping held leaves under feet from the trees of fall
Listening to autumn's call
A deeper breathe to continue on.
Fragile.
Depending on you, Christ carries me the rest of the walk... [x2]


4. And I Dreamt Of You

I see they love in the distance. [x4]

Breathless,
Gasping for air, for in thy dreams where you were,
Awakening to the blackness in my room.

As my eyes begin to blur, reality sets and starts the fear.
For do dreams come true, or do I die alone?
Waiting, like the petals of a wilting flower fall off
Until there is none and the once beautiful flowers dies naked
With no one to clothe it.
Will I hold you in the grave, or will the grave hold me?

The numbing dreams never end,
The swallows wings still amongst the idle wind.
My colored wold turns to grayscale,
Recollecting the memories;
Eyes covered hazel, eyes covered hazel.

Contradiction of my thoughts; standing calm, love not lost

Searching 'til I find my princess, whose passionate eyes cut right through me

For what is life if love only exists in thy thoughts?
What is romance if it is all fiction?
Nothing but a portrait left empty, a passing cloud of hurt
But to meet my love in the flesh is to find my whole heart, my whole heart.

Your heart breaks though me, your love is the key
Longing for my heart's door
To what day? 'Til I see sunrays shine upon your face
I dream of you the way you look,
The beating of the love in your heart
Your wolds are like the flowing of a spring, knowing thy love
Waits for me, until eternity's end

Is this poetry or is this love's sickness
Engulfing my every being?

Take the heart from you, and the blood ceases from me
I see what you hear
Breathing, take the closest thing to me and my savior
Falling in love to a person I have never met;
But knowing she has salvation's fragrance

By God's grace this love will be free,
And able to fly away above the earth,
To a point, point of exhaustion,
But your breath will keep me alive-

Words are pointless, for this love is speechless [x2]
Preparing for the curtain's closure
Laying there, clutching hands so tight; I can feel your heart
Telling me it will be alright
Ascension to heaven where this love can not only walk,
But it runs through the endless fields of joy,
Where love neither ends nor begins but flows everlasting
This was thy dream this daybreak and will by thy prayer
That T will rest sleepless 'til the sun rises on that day
And butterflies sing with us, as we write love symphonies
The pages of life fill the story of our love in a time long ago
Where fairy tales come true
And you and I, my love, will live happily ever after. [x3]
I love you


5. Cries Of The Past

It happened all so fast, heavy with sleep, my eyes closed...
The next thing I remember was crawling out from the car,
And seeing you lying there
Holding your head, kissing you for the last time
The taste of blood on my lips...
Your clothes torn apart, perfumed with gas
It seems like it was yesterday when the rain poured down
I can still hear your screams as if it was happening all over again

Saturday, December 4th:
That night would become a grave,
That would crush my heart
Joy and laughter exchanged for grief, and silence.
Searching for so long to find you,
And the moment I did, you were ripped from me...
Laying here on this empty shelf never to be read again
In these pages lies every memory of you
The wind blew your heart over my eyes,
And I slept for days praying not to awake,
But these dreams can only last so long.
Facing the day looking through these tears
I'll always look back and remember that night...
(... ? ...)

Looking over that casket, seeing your face..
Times of past rushing by..
Touching your cold hand, wishing it would touch me back
You look so pretty lying there, just like the first day we met

It feels so real; like old times, but it's nothing, it's nothing...

I can taste the stale air on my tongue.
And death lights up the sky.
Hope finds itself it and it ends, stopping at my thoughts
Pictures of you help bring back the tears

Walking in the present, but living in the past
How much longer will I embrace sorrow?

From the moment that you entered my life
My whole outlook on love would change

You brought out a happiness I didn't even know I had,
And now you've gone, leaving without a goodbye...

THAT GLASS HEART THAT RESTED IN MY CHEST HAS FALLEN AND SHATTERED

Here on, Lord, is the remains of a broken heart
For I have faith you can give me joy and life again

Death has fallen, but love covers me
Heaven is now home to my angel of love