This Winter Machine

mistaken for pride
Always beside myself but not satisfied
We only see the things that we want to see
I know I never was the man I used to be
Taking me back through the cold and the rain
Making it hard to remember my name

(ii) Dreaming

I remember the lights and the noise and the pain
I remember the looks and the voices and shame
I remember the ones that I tried to impress
Spinning alone in the dark and the dizzying emptiness

And now its hard to look back without breaking my neck
And its hard to stand tall when you've lost your respect
But at least I can say my mistakes were my own
Lost in a sea full of doubt and opportunities blown

All the time I think I'm learning
So divided, so deserving
Take for granted all they give me
So alone and still so empty

Try to see the mess I'm making
Close to ghosts and close to breaking
Leave me with this empty feeling
So alone and so revealing

(iii) Snow

She comes down like the rain to me
She comes down and the rain sets me free
She lights up like a shining star
She lights up and you know where you are

I suddenly see through the haze on the darkest of days
Like a smile that surrounds me
Tumbling down from the sky like a final goodbye
And I know where I need to be

Watching the seasons unfold from a safe place I know
A design never ending
Covering all of my thoughts in a blanket of snow
That is gone by the morning

(iv) Awake

I tried hard to imagine what was keeping me here
All I saw was the anger, the sadness and fear
Is this part of a of a puzzle or maybe part of a plan?
'Cause nobody looks in the eyes of an invisible man

I remember so clearly all the noise and the pain
And my reason for being nearly drove me insane
When I try to forget I remember it all
And I still hear the sounds in the dark I just dont answer the call

THE WHEEL

Think its time to see
A thousand empty faces that we'll never be
All this time, its too late to find
We're letting go of all that we need
Its too late
All that we had is gone
We stare into the darkness of the endless sea
Just too late
We all have to carry on
Holding on to what we believe

Is it real, how much we feel?
Or is it just how much we reveal?
Is it truth or what we conceal?
We all ride the wheel...

Temptation means you can get left behind
Looking for the something that you'll never find
Obsession can carry your life away
Silently just stealing your time

Lights you thought would guide you were the lights to almost blind you
Seem to tighten and confine you til it breaks you in the end
You cant shake the feeling that the anger that you're keeping
Leaves you permanently bleeding nothing left now to defend

Somewhere in the distance holds the path of least resistance
But you lose it in an instant underneath your darkened star
Sometimes they think they know you and have all their worlds to show you
But I know this time it holds you and its really gone too far

AFTER TOMORROW COMES

Please dont ask me what you mean to me
All the reasons that you never see
Please dont tell me how I really feel
All the nightmares that I know are real

And oh, you'll see
Just hold on and believe

Let me show you
What could never be
From the shadows of my memory
I know that everything can get lost sometimes
When the answer is between the lines

She counts the years
Counts the tears
Away from the sunshine
She holds it close
Doesn't let it show
That inside she's dying
She knows the dream
And what it means
And after tomorrow comes
Let it go, again
Its getting too heavy
And nothing seems to matter

How can it be?
We were never all we could be?
Why cant you see?
This is not an illusion.

I cant imagine what it did to you
But I am always here to help you through
Its so easy to get left behind
But out of sight was never out of mind

FRACTURED

When the clouds are burning
But the world keeps turning
Do we know
Or just watch them glow
Our mistake was thinking
That we were ever winning
Just talk to me
And we can be free


Oh but we carry on
And we fracture all our dreams
With impetuous extremes
Oh but we carry on
Most of the time
Til we reach the line

As the stars are falling
We ignore the warnings
Eyes open wide
Revealing inside
We remain divided
Confused and undecided
Just take my hand
And we'll make a stand

I never knew exactly what to say
Reality to sympathy, then watch me fade away
But I still try to keep an open mind
So read me like an open book, and leave it all behind

Its hard to know just what we have achieved
Waiting for some miracle, for something to believe
All of what we were is lost in time
A new forgotten memory, another endless climb?
We're fractured...
We're fractured...

Oh but we carry on
And we fracture all our dreams
With impetuous extremes
Oh but we carry on
Most of the time
This is the end of the line